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Dealing with Disappointing Relationships: Change Your Expectations

Move forward, or move on.


The old saying, “If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective” has been around since before anyone reading this article was born—but the implied advice is just as incredibly relevant today as it was way back when. No matter how much it feels like you’re in control of your life, things really can change in an instant, and if you’re in a relationship, things can change while you’re blinking.

All human beings have their own thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, even if they are the loving partner of a person who feels quite differently about any or all of these things.In healthy relationships mutual respect is a must, and, as mentioned, this respect must be able to exist even when perspectives or beliefs differ greatly. If you find yourself in a relationship in which mutual respect does not exist, it’s difficult to imagine that genuine love could exist either.

Again, if you cannot expect your partner to treat you with the same respect you treat them with, changing your relationship would be far more beneficial than lowering your expectations beyond reason. Forcing someone to change is usually impossible and even attempting to change someone is frequently negative for everyone involved (at least when it comes to relationships). Please read the list below to better understand when changing your expectations is worthwhile—and when it isn’t.

#1: Be cognizant of reality.

You must accept the reality of how your partner thinks, speaks, and acts; contemplate whether you can be happy and at peace in a relationship with such a person, and decide to move forward or to move on accordingly.

#2: Never manipulate.

The desire for validation and approval could lead you to envision manipulative behavior; it’s crucial to snap out of it. However, this behavior will usually leave you feeling empty and phony (and you shouldn’t have to manipulate compliments or recognition out of your partner anyway!).

#3: Release.

Accept the past and the present, release any regrets or misgivings, and move forward positively and productively. By staying in the present moment and releasing past anxieties, you’ll be more aware of who you are, of who you’re going to be, and of what type of partner you’ll desire along the way and once you get to where you’re going (or to who you’re becoming).

#4:. Focus on friends and loved ones.

In short, focus on human beings who make you feel loved and otherwise worthy—regardless of whether your relationship is plutonic or romantic.

#5: Self-love.

Don’t be afraid to give yourself compliments or encouragement, whether you say these things aloud or merely inside your mind. Build self-confidence, nurture yourself, and be someone who you genuinely want to love and live as. Go into relationships without any expectations, and walk away when you’re convinced the scenario won’t be enjoyable, peaceful, and productive long term.

 

 

Sources

Image: Don

*This content was inspired by an amazing article that can be found here.